Today, I heard God give me what I’ve been praying for. I actually heard HIM. I have been praying for patience for as long as I can remember. My mom always says that you only have to ask God for something one time and then you have to just wait on the Lord. The fact that I have asked Him for patience numerous time should make odd, ironic, sense.
This morning, I woke up with the hens to get ready to go to work and was greeted with a wintery mix coming down outside my window which only motivated me to hold on to my comforter for five more minutes. Anyway, as I raced through the house trying to get out of the house and into the car and onto the train to get to work on time, I realized I could NOT find my umbrella. I mumbled declarations about how people in the house move everything and wondered why things couldn’t just be where I left them, and I ALMOST, let this ruin my morning.
As I waited for my car to warm up, I heard myself, telling myself, to calm down. No need to check me into the looney bin, I mean this. I heard myself say, “Lana, you have no umbrella, but you have a scarf wrapped around your head and a warm coat, and right now you’re in a car that will take you a the train where rain will not touch you, re-lax.” I was suddenly overwhelmed with peace. This may sound like an over-exaggeration of brief moment of insanity but it’s much more than that. I am a person that lives inside of her head. I am constantly nit-picking about everything imaginable, and letting it change my attitude.
This moment meant growth. This moment meant that Patience had finally decided to show up, or that I finally decided to see her. These are the moments that make the MANcation worth it. The moments where I’ve closed my eyes and ears to all of the mess that tempts to cloud my vision, settled my mind and found clarity. The moments where it’s just me and God. Perspective, it feels nice.