I talked to my great friend/brother, Rich Graham (thank you, Rich Graham, for the name and thirty percent of this blog). Without him being anti-Facebook for so many years, I would have never written this. Before we go on, insert disclaimer here; this piece isn’t aimed at any of my friends and users that act civilized on Facebook. So, rest assured, you’re good with me.

 

Example No. 1

I digress from the topic at hand; I am slowly realizing in a full circle that Facebook is spam for the internet. It’s like a cesspool of ignorance, half naked women, and “cyberspace thugs.” I am not going to touch on how Facebook owns our pictures, statuses, and information; how they’re selling our information to a third party company’s who uses it for internet advertisements. I’ll leave that for Spit to inform you all more about that. I am going to speak on how Facebook has killed person to person interaction. Example, I have tried to interact with women (AKA exchange numbers) in the past and they would ask if I have a Facebook page and give me their information to look them up. WHAT?! I have seen men and women beefing on Facebook telling each other what they’re going to do to them when they see them in the streets. WHAT?! I have seen women have family pictures with their kids and the next picture is of them half naked. WHAT?! When did it become cool to put everything and almost your social security number on the internet for anyone to pick up and run with it? Why do so many people put their information out there for everyone to see? At one point Facebook was entertainment to see what people had to say but then it started to become insanity when people started talking about man troubles, selling drugs, how much they have, and beating their kids. When did a great idea turn for the worst? How is it that all the negative/ignorant statuses will get all that “likes” and comments but something positive or uplifting barely gets any attention? Are people really brain washed into this nimrod factory called Facebook? I am guessing it’s easier to “friend” someone you barely know than trying to get to know them the old fashioning way?

Facebook is so bizarre to me; people are fraudulent, annoying, and ignorant. I asked someone if they knew every person on their friend list and they replied, “Yes!” Who knows five thousand people personally or just by name? I need people to stop building this online fantasy world where they’re “popular.” High school is over, we’re grownups now; welcome to the real world. I need people to stop with these “in the club” pictures every week; the club isn’t so great to always take pictures. My favorite, women that looks better on Facebook than in person. I have a seen a few people I went to high school with that looks sexy as all hell on Facebook but in person, not so great.  Oh, men posing in the mirror flexing on Facebook, that’s gay! Someone had to tell you and thank god none of the few male friends I have on Facebook doesn’t do that. Please people that I don’t know, ex-girlfriends, and people I “went” to high school with, stop “friending” me! I am not your friend neither did I know you in high school; so don’t use me to try to up your friend list. If you’re reading this and you feel as I am being a weirdo, I am not; I am perfectly sane. I know what’s real and what’s not, you’re the weirdo if you feel as these things I mention above are sane. Stop trying to be a weirdo, nerd, cyberspace thug, baller, boaster, being high is so cool type, popular person, FB models, and anything else that’s not you! Be yourself, no need to be fake or over exaggerated; who you are is fine. Try it out sometime.

 

Example No. 2

Bottom line, posting club pictures every weekend with different men isn’t cute; it makes you look like a whore. Boasting about how many cars you drive or how much money you get doesn’t make you cool, my man; it makes you look broke. Having useless “status wars” doesn’t make you tough, you’re weak. Spelling words incorrectly, putting middle fingers up in pictures, or talking about how men or women “ain’t shit” isn’t cool; it’s ignorant and I am dropping you as a friend. Being half naked in almost every one of your pictures isn’t sexy; that is nasty that you have your body out there like that, baby girl. Lastly, hugged up on a new man or woman each week isn’t “awe;” I think you might be spreading STD’s and you might need to get checked out…I kid… But really; sexing everyone isn’t “dope,” keep your business your business. At the end of the day, better yet, if the World Wide Web ceases to exist tomorrow, Facebook wouldn’t exist. Remember, Facebook isn’t a place, it’s just a program; it’s not real!

What did we do before social networks like Facebook came along?

 I’m done…*Drops the microphone and exits on stage left*