Guest Blog: Once In A Lifetime Feeling, Part One…For Erin By: Eric Blair
Hi. *Insert a happy wave of the hand here.* This week has been a hectic week for me, mentally. Not in a stressful way, more like deep thoughts about topics for this article. My initial idea was to write about the false life people present on Facebook. Nah, I’ll bring that to you all in few weeks. Then I thought, maybe I should write about how we the people are the government, not puppets for the government. I figured I’ll come back to that topic as well; I need to get that topic into the air and minds. So, I decided to write about something personal, once again. More like a time capsule for her to see at any time. Nothing fancy just my feelings from my heart & soul to this blank page.
Dear Erin Christian,
Hi, I am Eric Blair, your father. I want to convey my feelings to you as you might be reading this as an older child/young adult. I tell you all the time how much I love you and how proud of you I am. Now I am letting the world know my feelings for you. Do you know the war of parents I had to endure in order to be a full time father? I am not going to put your mother down; this is not about her past actions. She’s a good mother to you; therefore, I will always love your mother. I am writing this because I know I will not be on this earth forever. I never want you to doubt or question my love for you as your father. I have never been more proud of a human being than I am of you. You’ll never have to do anything to make me proud; just live your life to conquer each day. It’s my responsibility to make you proud, as your parent. There were times when I was down on myself as a father, or felt as if I wasn’t a good enough father. I felt like being a good father wasn’t enough, I want to be a great father to you. You always deserve the best. I could have been being hard on myself, I don’t know. I do know I never want to, nor will I ever disappoint you. If I could, I’d snatch the moon and star from the sky for you. Never change for anyone; you’re a luminous human being, never let life dim your marvelous glow. Our moments we share as father and daughter are wonderful. Actually, wonderful isn’t a good enough word to describe our experiences. I have learned so much from you as a father and a human. You’ve honestly made me a better man; you’re the reason I reach for the stars each day, hoping I’ll be able to grab a few for you. The first moment we met I said to you, “welcome to the real world.” Your first words to your mother and I were funny. I will never forget the first time I heard your adorable laughter. Your first unstable steps were scary; we thought you were going to fall with each step. The first time you fell asleep on my chest, you gave off a lot of freaking heat. Such beautiful memories of you screaming for pancakes for breakfast, and the first time you told me “Sit down, Daddy, we need to talk.” The day I realized you were growing up and seeing you off to school, as you waved goodbye to me. These moments move me to tears; I am tearing up as I write. I cherish being your father. You’re an amazing, brilliant child to parent. You never have to worry about me putting anything before you. I will always be there for you in life, and in the afterlife I’ll make my way back to you. I can be anyone in this world: a writer, a lover, a husband, a son, a brother, a friend, a jerk, a pompous prick, even with all these names and labels at the end of the day I will always be Eric Blair, your father.
P.S. If I could sing I would sing the following: “Na na na, na-na na na, na-na na na, hey Erin… Na na na, na-na na na, na-na na na, hey Erin”…C’mon everybody sing (or read) along… “Na na na, na-na na na, na-na na na, hey Erin… Na na na, na-na na na, na-na na na, hey Erin.”