1. Are you a large child or a small adult?

2. Orange and black decorations. Is this Halloween or Princeton Parent’s Weekend? I don’t know whether to be scared or proud of my cousin.

3. We have to be cool to everybody. Because the future is like a Japanese game show: You have no idea what’s going on.

4. Liz Lemon, recently I realized that I have a hole in my heart and not the one I got from eating batteries.

5. Angie just called, she’s pregnant…and it gets better. I just had a burrito.

6. Before you worked here, were you an ass scientist? Because your ass blah, blah, blah, you get the point. So what’s your name?

7. Kenneth, your haircut is disrespectful to lesbians.

8. But it’s like a black Barbie Doll in Arizona, nobody’s buying it.

9. Well, I yelled Baba Booey at Walter Cronkite’s funeral, so I actually have no idea of what’s rude or not.

10. I’m playing Garfield. My whole part is being shot on green screen in 3 days and they’re paying me exactly 1 million teacher salaries.

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