Speak when spoken to: LanaSpeaks
I’ve had a weave in my hair for over a month. I have a love/hate relationship with it. It’s similar to the way I feel about dating. When I’m wearing my own hair, I sometimes get an inkling that it’s time for a weave, whether it be to give my hair a rest from the elements, or because it’s just not growing the way I want it to, or I’m just plain sick of it. I’ve been here before. I’ve been loving my MANcation so far but sometimes, I get an inkling that I need a guy, whether it’s because I’ve watched too many romantic comedies, or because I’m bored with being alone, or that natural desire that all humans have for romantic love.
With weave, I usually like it for about two weeks, and then, I’m sick of it and I. want. it. out. Sometimes it’s because I don’t feel like myself anymore. I despise meeting new people with a weave in for fear that they may think this is the real me and be overwhelmed with grief when the luxurious locks are cut out and I’m back to looking like, well, me. Sometimes, the weave has just become too difficult to maintain and I have to ask myself, why am I going through so much trouble for something that’s not even mine?
Silly, I know, but it’s the truth. If you read my blog before, you know I have an innate tendency to overanalyze things; sometimes, it’s useful, others, it just makes me insane. At any rate, I’ve found that this relationship with H.I.B. (Hair I bought), proves true in my romantic relationships. I”m assuming it proves true for other 20-something year old’s like myself, trying to survive in today’s culture. How many times have you looked at a guy or girl, become all infatuated with what he or she looks like, only to begin dating them (and I use the term “dating” very loosely) to find out that, they don’t really fit you. Maybe, they’re too hard to maintain or keep up with, or maybe you, too, are sick of going through so much trouble for something that’s not even yours, or maybe you just don’t quite feel like your authentic self when you’re with them but you can’t seem to separate yourself because then people might notice, well, you, alone. See, where I’m going with this?
I tend to relate a lot of things to love and romance, because that’s just the space I’m in right now, but I’m sure everyone has something that they could relate to this. Maybe it isn’t weave, maybe it’s tattoos or clothing or some other physical add-on that we feel we sometimes need in order to be complete, even if this wholeness only lasts for a short time. We all have something that makes us feel like a different person, a person we may like more than the person we actually are, so we try it out for size, and when it doesn’t fit just right, we realize we don’t need it, until, of course, the next time we feel we need it.
I believe that asking “why?” and really evaluating the reasons you come up with for validity will bring us to some rather interesting conclusions about ourselves. When I ask myself why I wear weave, the answer is usually a very shallow one that reveals insecurities I have about myself that aren’t going to go anywhere when the tracks are gone.
I challenge you to ask yourself what your vice is. What is the one thing or things that you feel you just have to have to feel complete? Is it working for you for the long haul or is it just a temporary pain-killer? We all know pain-killers never actually kill the pain do they, they eventually wear off, unless, of course, you can get to the root of this pain. If you can find out what’s really causing it, and begin to make a conscious decision to stop claiming it and start embracing yourself, as you are, you may find you no longer need, extensions.
**Disclaimer: Don’t be surprised if you see me with another weave after I take this out. I’m still a work in progress! We are all rough drafts constantly being edited and revised by the MOST HIGH. I’m a walking constant contradiction, and although most won’t admit it, so are you.