The Crown is Heavy By: Eli C. Briar

Today, on this glorious day I was blessed to interview the King. Our interview lasted approximately thirty minutes. The air in the room was very thick; laced with hints of sadness, elements of depression, and wrapped up with an attitude of arrogance. I asked the King one question with a tone of excitement, “How does it feel to be the King?” He looked me in my eyes with this demanding stare that felt like he was looking through me. The expression on his face was almost desolate. First, he sipped on his glass of water with a smooth motion of his body; the type of motion that a lion does when he’s focused on his prey. He looks down at his hands as he was twitching his thumbs like a school boy in the principal’s office. He raises his head slowly and calm as a midnight storm; he clears his throat as he looks on into my direction, more like staring off into space. He hummed a soft smirk under his deep, baritone voice and replies,

“The crown weighs a ton. My people expect and want so much out of me. If I am performing great, they want me to perform sublimely. If I made the wrong decision, they want to dethrone me. The pressure of pleasing everyone around me is great.  This includes my wife, my princess, my fellow scholars, and the people that look up to me. I also have the anxiety of “what if”.  What if I fail?  What if the people don’t care for me?  What if the people do care for me but I don’t love what I am doing?  What if I die before my work can begin? What if my crusade is in vain?  What if all of my hard work never adds up?  What if my hard work is my true love and my true love leaves me because of my work?  What if I am lonely for the remaining of my existence because I refuse to compromise?  What if I am the sanest man alive but people believe I am riddled with madness?  What if I am insane but I just don’t know it yet?  What if this is all a dream and I wake up as a everyday person? I have put myself in this spotlight, I do not disagree with that statement but I refuse to be judged for every choice I’ve made in life so far. To be scrutinize by everyone and anybody when the same judges can’t wear the crown for fifteen seconds. The feeling of error when I feel as I am doing something right. The feeling of loveliness because I do not know how to love correctly. The feeling of alienation because I don’t know how to communicate with others from outside of my chambers. All I ever known how to do correctly is be your King. I know I am doing a sublime job but do you know or understand what I am trying to present to you. So to answer your question, it feels like I am tormented every day, hour, minute, second, and down to the last grain of sand. Everyone loves me but no one understands me. I can do anything and everything I ever wanted to do but I can’t stop being the King for a second. Life is marvelous but death can’t come any sooner because when I die and this crown is passed on to my princess, on my headstone I want it to read: “The end because it was never a beginning.” *MH UM!* Thank you for lending me your ears and mind, kind sir.”

As I sit in front of this complex man, confused, sad and upset, I realized that he just might be a beautiful human being. There was a long pause after the King’s last word. The tension in the air was thick and overwhelming. I hope that I can convey the feelings I have felt from him to the readers. Our King isn’t like any other King, at the end of the day, our King is just a man and he knows it.