I was going to make this crap up, but as usual I was too slow. Because no one does unbelievable like the Americans. I came across this story as I was looking for a picture for this blog post. I know how unbelievable is that.

As a recovering serial Facebook status updater I regret turning my back on facebook, I mean what if I am accused of a crime and my only defense was that it couldn’t have been me, I was liking someone’s status or LOL’ing at MJ’s mommy post.

Social networking has become the real life version of Skynet. A living, breathing thing. And as soon as the lawyer used a Facebook status update as “witness” the world changed.

The face of twitter has changed. I mean some people (sometimes me) update twitter like we’re having conversations with folk. I read one prized idiot give a lecture to the younger members of twitter. Oi, idjit, try email. Twitter, in its limited form is becoming the lean mean version of Facebook. And Facebook is just a place you check into maybe twice a day to see if anyone has LOL’ed at your picture or status or whether they “like” it. What in the name of God’s green earth is liking a status. What about disliking, or absolutely hating a status. I have the moments when I wish they would have a “think this person should live in North Korea” option. I would click on it.

Anyway Twitter has become ticker tape of sorts. Instead of the original update with what you are doing right now, its update with what you want people to know, like that you mean something to someone, or that your life has meaning, or that your life is occupied with other things that don’t involve Internet bandwidth. Because lets be honest if you had important things to do, you wouldn’t be telling all and sundry about it on Facebook, twitter or Google’s latest offering Buzz. I turned that crap off, I need more avenues into my life like I need a hole in the head. I am a control freak that way.

In a way Social Media is a collection of witnesses. As unsavory as it can be, social media has become a glass house, with glass walls that we all greedily peer through, oblivious to whose been watching us. I am trying to cut myself off social media. I know it sounds antisocial. But I don’t need more invites to protests, parties and general tomfoolery. It all feels a little invasive.

Be sure to check out the top 10 of 2009 concerning Facebook and lets hear your best Facebook alibi story. I mean most guys are only on Facebook to stalk a potential SO. You know read her wall, update your status about life being unfair, eat ice cream and fall off to sleep crying in your pillow. What’s your excuse?

Hamish

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